


A Brief Explanation As To Why Vigilantes and Twitter Is A Fantastic Combination, Actually

by violentlypan



Series: Vigilante!Foggy Fics [2]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU: Superpowered Foggy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Foggy Nelson, Canon Disabled Character, Crack, Fluff, Foggy Can Fight, Foggy Nelson Is a Good Bro, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, M/M, No editors we die like men, Not Canon Compliant, Secret Identity, Social Media, Twitter, Vigilante Foggy, Well not really, also most of the avengers tags are completely in the background and get one line at best, and also didnt happen to either character dont worry, and by that i mean we die like people who should probably get editors, because i don't want to deal with "canon" or "continuity", chatfic, crack and fluff, foggy can fly, foggy is a gamer tee em, hell's kitchen loves them, i'm pretending seasons 2 and 3 don't exist, mention of sexual assault - nongraphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23339089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violentlypan/pseuds/violentlypan
Summary: Foggy knows more than three things about his powers, now.- He's an aerokinete, for one. That's the technical name for his powers. Who knew?- They helped him get a cutie with a booty for a boyfriend.- They sure as hell aren't helping him figure out the whole "being popular on social media" thing.Yep, that's right: our favorite Foggy/Matt duo takes to the Interwebs!It's notstrictlynecessary to read the last fic in this series, but it does help you understand the continuity.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson & Karen Page, Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson
Series: Vigilante!Foggy Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678444
Comments: 192
Kudos: 356
Collections: Social Media Fics





	1. Twitter Meets the Vigilantes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [twitter is onto something](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15625167) by [pomegranateboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomegranateboy/pseuds/pomegranateboy). 



**Daredevil** @devilhk

So I’ve been told I need to make a twitter account by some sources that will go unnamed. Congratulations. I did it.

**Archangel** @angelhk

OH HELL YEAH I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BUDDY

**Daredevil** @devilhk

This is the source that was going to go unnamed.

**your** @mom

woah haha is this legit? these dupe accounts are getting good

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

@angelhk’s been posting updates for a while on the kitchen, i think they’re legit

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

we need to signal blast the FUCK out of this lmao

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

@devilhk you just hit 100 followers congrats!

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens

hey, yall got twitter!

**Daredevil** @devilhk 

Why is my phone full of notifications?

**Archangel** @angelhk

we just got officially endorsed by spiderman buddy

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens

@angelhk *spider-man

**Archangel** @angelhk

you’re right. sorry. man-spider

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens

i am going to Fling You Off Of A Tall Building

**Archangel** @angelhk

good luck with that, kiddo

-

**your** @mom

holy fuck.

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

so that just happened

**chris** @ccambell

do we know that @realspidermanqueens is actually spider-man?

**olivia** @sciencegal730

idk it’s not like @RealStark has come out to confirm it or w/e

**You Know Who I Am** @RealStark ☑

@realspidermanqueens is actually Spider-Man.

-

**Daily Bugle** @dailybugle

In Shocking Tweet, Tony Stark Confirms Spider-Man’s Twitter Account: A Menace with a Blue Check

**New York Bulletin** @nybulletin

Tony Stark Verifies Spider-Man’s Twitter Account: Alludes to Daredevil and Archangels’ Twitter Accounts?

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

y’all really desperate for news, huh

**Archangel** @angelhk

@twitter can we get verified now? we’ve been endorsed

**sai** @brushybrushpen

you’re literally vigilantes

**Archangel** @angelhk

<IMAGE: John Mulaney standing in front of a microphone, mouth open, captioned, “And we were like, “We know but, hey.”>

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

oh my god he knows MEMES

**Archangel** @angelhk

I am memes.

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Angel?

**Archangel** @angelhk

Yes, dear?

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Please shut up.

-

**your** @mom

omg “angel? yes, dear?” im SOFT

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

i didn’t ship it before but i sure as hell ship it now

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

haha sure as hell

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

there are only 5 tags with archdevil fic on ao3 who’s gonna change that with me

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

i will personally populate that tag

**daredevil could fuck me** @leetspeek

not if i do it first

**daredevil could fuck me** @leetspeek

wait hang on gotta fix something

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

done

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

HGKSDHGKJDSh

**your** @mom

y’all funny

**sam** @sammysplannys

they’re like real people though? we shouldn’t be writing fanfic about real people?

**Archangel** @angelhk

i’ll endorse it.

**your** @mom

HOLY FUCK

**sam** @sammysplannys

there go my objections

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

omg mr. archangel im so sorry

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

has he been reading this whole time?

**Archangel** @angelhk

a friend clued me in to this thread.

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

One of y’all… is a snitch.

-

**otw_status** @otw_status

We’re getting reports that the Archive is occasionally slow or unreachable for some users. We are getting high amounts of traffic and we may need a few minutes to sort it out. Thank you for your patience!

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

@angelhk you broke the internet

**Archangel** @angelhk

i seriously doubt you guys wrote that much fanfiction about me and horny

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Please, just stop, angel. Please stop calling me horny.

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

HE DIDN’T CAPITALIZE ANGEL IS IT A PET NAME

**Archangel** @angelhk

he uses speech-to-text mostly, so it’s probably just a technology issue.

**Archangel** @angelhk

though if you wanna think of it as a pet name you’re welcome to it.

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Do you want to get kidnapped the next time I go bust the mafia? This is how you get kidnapped the next time I go bust the mafia.

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

anyway addressing mr archangel’s message about being the reason the internet broke, you had 5 fics yesterday at 9 pm. you now have 19k. in two days

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

the entire population of nyc is writing fic about you two

**Archangel** @angelhk

I have a plan.

**Daredevil** @devilhk

I swear to God, angel, if you put that fan fiction on my screen…

**Archangel** @angelhk

I no longer have a plan.

-

**Wendy** @wmorrison

A reminder that we shouldn’t be romanticizing, writing fan-fiction about, or otherwise making the Archangel and Daredevil look more glamorous. They are vigilantes who break the law. They are not good examples.

**your** @mom

Anyway here’s a picture of the Archangel and Daredevil lifting rubble off of a group of puppies <image>

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

Here’s a shaky video of someone who was recording as the police tried to beat up an innocent black kid and the Daredevil stepped in. <video>

**sai** @brushybrushpen

Here’s a picture of the Archangel breaking off anti-homeless architecture around the nearby church. <image>

**ace** @aceofcards

A video of them helping stop a fire in the bakery two blocks down from where I live. <video>

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada 

Here’s a selfie I took with the Archangel after he successfully (and legally!) convinced me to get sober <image>

**olivia** @sciencegal

Maybe they’re not working legally, but they can do things that the cops can’t. Here’s an article demonstrating how they helped obtain information critical to the Fisk case <link>

**sam** @sammysplannys

Besides, the Avengers end up killing hundreds every year from casualties. They’re trying to help cut down on that. Here’s a video of them protecting an elderly woman from the latest alien invasion. <video>

**Archangel** @angelhk

We’re doing our best, you guys. Thank you all so much. I don’t blame you for not wanting your kids to grow up like us. We’re both just guys who couldn’t stand by while people got hurt.

**Archangel** @angelhk

We can do something about all the things going wrong in this city, so we have a moral obligation to do it. We’re risking our lives so that you guys can live.

**Archangel** @angelhk

To be clear, I’m not trying to encourage anyone else to become vigilantes. We get hurt daily, and badly at that. We’ve both suffered damage in our careers and social lives because of our night jobs.

**Archangel** @angelhk

It helps that we’re both enhanced, so we have an additional layer of protection. We can afford to risk our lives.

**Daredevil** @devilhk

If I catch any of you going outside and becoming a vigilante because you think we’d want you to, instead of a genuine cause, I will personally throw your behinds back into your shitty apartments.

**ace** @aceofspades

yessir

-

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

so is it confirmed that they’re dating?

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

i mean, it’s as good as confirmed, right? archangel gave us his blessing to write slashfic

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

and it’s not like daredevil said no so we can probably count that as a yes

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

@angelhk are you dating daredevil?

**miley cyrus** @hannahmountana

i don’t think he’s gonna respond

**your** @mom

worth a shot

**buttercup** @wesleyand

i’m sending a message here so i’ll get notified if he responds

**bdg gives me life** @myownmother

me too. i want super-tea

-

  
  


**Karen Page** @kpage

_ This tweet has been deleted. _

-

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

I accidentally posted a message on the wrong account D:,

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Anyway what would you do if I told you I knew the Archdevil pair and that all of your fanfiction is completely wrong

**your** @mom

tea???

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

So Daredevil is actually a massive dork. He refuses to take medicine when he’s sick and only eats weirdly healthy food?? His favorite food is actually macaroni and cheese

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Did I do something to deserve this?   
  


**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Mhm.

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Oho, and how about the Archangel? He used to play softball, and if he didn’t have a secret identity I’d leak the pictures of him from third grade, being hit in the face by the ball.

**Archangel** @angelhk

what did i fuck up this time?? im sorry whatever it is

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Well, I don’t know which ONE of you is responsible for all the chocolate by my bed going missing. So I’m going to just expose BOTH of you until one of you confesses.

**Archangel** @angelhk

i swear on my honor that i didn’t eat your chocolate

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Great, I’m just gonna dishonor you until one of you fesses up then.

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

holy fuck we have been Blessed

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Daredevil’s idea of a good first date is to get them to help you interrogate a member of the Russian mafia. Archangel exclusively wears socks patterned with various emoji.

**Archangel** @angelhk

that’s not true! i also have cute animal ones and some food ones

**Daredevil** @devilhk

That wasn’t our first date. She and I shared one kiss. Just one. That was the extent of our dating. So I would argue that did not count as a date. Just assistance.

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Daredevil has been to the hospital exactly twice - once when the Archangel got sick in college, and once when he was nine, despite having his heart stop three times.

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Two times. My heart has stopped two times. And both times it started back up again.

**Archangel** @angelhk

duh

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

The Archangel once was in a hurry and smacked a door handle, assuming the door would open from just him hitting it with his open palm. It did not. He ran straight into the closed door.

**Archangel** @angelhk

FINE. i ate your damn chocolate are you HAPPY now

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

You swore on your honor that you didn’t. I have to dishonor you now

**Archangel** @angelhk

i accept my fate

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

this is gonna be good

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

The Angel of Hell’s Kitchen sleeps with a small stuffed caterpillar every night and can’t sleep unless he’s hugging it. 

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

He once accidentally flew in highschool while drunk at a party and hung from a chandelier for a solid three seconds before crashing to the floor.

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

The first time he tried vigilantism, he wore an exact replica of the Devil’s suit, with the addition of a mask, and told the person “don’t mug people” before being stabbed.

**Archangel** @angelhk

slashed not stabbed. also is it over

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

One more....

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

When the Angel was fourteen he pooped in a bully’s backpack, opened the bully’s binder rings so his papers would spill everywhere, and zipped it back up like nothing had happened.

**Archangel** @angelhk

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT NOBODY KNOWS THAT

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

be careful of the things you tell your friends when you’re drunk on questionable liquor. 

**Archangel** @angelhk

i am never going to drink another drop of alcohol again

**sai** @brushybrushpen

damn @pagesandpages savage

**Daredevil** @devilhk

I will buy you replacement chocolate with the money I don’t have. Please stop.


	2. Twitter Decides To Try And Help The Vigilantes Be Not-Broke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the city gives back to DD and AA.

**sai** @brushybrushpen

im making a kickstarter so that daredevil and archangel can actually get paid for this vigilante shit

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

i seriously doubt they’ll let you do that?

**sai** @brushybrushpen

why not? they’re putting themselves in danger every night for our safety

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

how would you get it to them?

**sai** @brushybrushpen

uhh

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

we could just leave it on our windowsills?

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

it’ll get stolen by thieves. how do you propose they represent the income on their taxes?

**your** @mom

tax fraud

**Archangel** @angelhk

please don’t pay us! we’re doing this for you all for free, and even though we’re kinda broke it’s ok

-

**Daredevil** @devilhk

For some reason, there seem to be a lot of baked goods on peoples’ windowsills tonight.

**Archangel** @angelhk

i noticed that too actually

**Archangel** @angelhk

theres no way the entire city made pie tonight, guys

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

that might have been my fault

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

i mentioned that @realspidermanbrooklyn and i accept baked goods as payment and uh i think y’all’s fanclub might have taken some notes

**your** @mom

yeah i left y’all a boston cream pie

**sai** @brushybrushpen

i may or may not have donated some cookies to the cause

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

i was a little bit responsible for the muffins

**Archangel** @angelhk

you guys are so thoughtful i’m gonna cry

-

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Maybe the shrine is pushing it a little too far, Hell’s Kitchen.

**Archangel** @angelhk

though the tip-offs you left were really useful! but like,,, something about that feels kind of wrong? we’re just a couple of random guys, don’t like, light candles for us. we’re not dead yet

-

**Ace** @aceofspades

hey, i’m gonna make a dropoff box on the roof of the boxing gym the archdevil duo meet at. y’all can drop off baked goods and tipoffs there, okay? that way we don’t overwhelm them

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

signal boost

**my names blurrycats** @stickofgun

please do not signal boost they will get word of it and shut it down before it even begins

**your** @mom

smol signal boost

-

**Ace** @aceofspades

night one was a success! they took the cookies i left in there and the tipoff someone else left. tell your neighbors and hk coworkers!

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

if anyone is interested in a volunteer opportunity, the animal shelter near the Javitz is doing a day with the new puppies and kittens to make sure they’re properly socialized :0

**your** @mom

im imagining the archangel with a kitten now and im??? gonna cry

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

@angelhk do you have a pet

**Archangel** @angelhk

sometimes being friends with @devilhk feels like having a pet. “no, don’t chew on that.” “stop Running into battle, [full name,] you have to make a plan.” “did you pee on the Russians AGAIN-”

**Daredevil** @devilhk

I have never peed on a Russian. I feel like I need to clarify this.

**Archangel** @angelhk

didn’t you do it two weeks ago

**Daredevil** @devilhk

I said the Russians were pissed. As in, pissed off. At me. 

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

wait stop revisit the chewing on things thing

**Archangel** @angelhk

oh my god, it’s insane. sticks. spoons. certain types of fabric, herbs (like cinnamon and lavender, you guys, not pot.) his own hand. he has a thing for certain textures

**Daredevil** @devilhk

To be fair, lavender tastes good.

**Archangel** @angelhk

oh my GOD NO IT DOEs NOT????

-

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

the amount of fanfic that’s been generated already about that one twitter exchange is frankly amazing. im vibing

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

<IMAGE: A well-drawn chibi-style Daredevil chomping on a chibi Archangel’s wing. The Archangel seems unamused.>

**Archangel** @angelhk

is it vain to look at fanart of yourself???? because i absolutely love some of the fanart that’s been made so far

**Archangel** @angelhk

i might do a spam of it on my page

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

whoever left a wing-patterned fanny pack in the dropoff box, i will forever love it. i’m gonna switch out my utility belt. i’m forcing horny to wear the devil-themed one

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

you know, i should probably have expected the sudden influx of fanny packs in the dropoff box. i’ll switch them out every now and then! 

**Archangel** @angelhk

however, unless your fanny pack is advertising a hell’s kitchen-based small business i won’t wear advertisements. sorry google i’m not advertising for you

-

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

i seriously love how hell’s kitchen has really just come together to give back to its vigilantes

**pwincess** @princessxpeach

i feel like that’s a non-subtle nudge nudge????????? 

**invisiboy** @realspidermanbrooklyn

should we start accepting fanny packs???

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

you could pull off a fanny pack!

**invisiboy** @realspidermanbrooklyn 

no thank you

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

i hate that i have to say this but please stop spamming mine and @devilhk’s dms with smutfic?? i really do approve of you all making fanfic- it’s a creative endeavor! but trying to force us to read ourselves having sex is… uh…

**Archangel** @angelhk

i usually flick through twitter every now and then when i’m on the go because i want to keep up with the news. interrupting my newsfeed with the words “anal fisting” is only going to help me fall sideways off a building.

**Archangel** @angelhk

also, like, why do you want us to read porn you wrote about us??? like, would you show your fictional characters themselves having sex???? i feel like that’d be?? weird????? and maybe creepy?

-

**sai** @brushybrushpen

@angelhk because winter’s coming up, have you thought of using your wings as a sled

**Archangel** @angelhk

NOW I HAVE

**Daredevil** @devilhk

That seems dangerous. Your shields are inflexible, not to mention relatively small.

**Archangel** @angelhk

big enough to sled on, coward

-

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

I need you all to know that I just watched Daredevil and Archangel argue for forty-two minutes about the correct way to eat string cheese.

**Archangel** @angelhk

look NOBODY should just eat it WHOLE in one BITE that’s horrifying

**Daredevil** @devilhk

It’s more efficient. You get the same number of nutrients whichever way you eat it. It already tastes like pure salt and chemical gloop, there’s no way peeling it will improve the flavor.

**Archangel** @angelhk

bullshit??? it’s so much better peeled and eaten in strings

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

I just eat it in a few bites. Happy medium.

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

@angelhk is the only valid bitch in this place

**olivia** @sciencegal730

aren’t y’all supposed to be, like, saving hell’s kitchen

**Archangel** @angelhk

from what, the sun? it’s 11 am and we have normal everyday jobs too

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

Not that you guys make any money off of it

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Hey, we make money!

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

But do you, though?

-

**sai** @brushybrushpen

ok but is anyone else really confused as to who @pagesandpages is

**miley cyrus** @hannahmountana

maybe their coworker?

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

i feel like we should not be trying to figure this out. like if we find out their identities they’ll go push us off a building or something

**Archangel** @angelhk

i swear i won’t try and kill you, but i will probably make you sign an nda if you tell me you know my identity.

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

is that, like, legal to do? like can you legally sign an nda about finding illegal information out

**Archangel** @angelhk

uh

**Archangel** @angelhk

well… no but like……………………………. i can ask you very nicely to not??? leak my identity???? so i dont lose my job and family and possibly my life???????

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

oh shit i keep forgetting they’re like Real People with like Real Lives and they’re actually risking shit for us… 

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

yeah after @RealStark came out as a superhero on live tv a lot of people forgot we have secret identities for like,,, a reason 

**鬼哥哥** @blindspot

yeah, if i didn’t have my secret identity i would be dead like seven times over lmao

**invisiboy** @realspidermanbrooklyn

same so pls dont out any vigilantes or like try and find out who their friends are

-

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Hey Archangel?

**Archangel** @angelhk

oh no

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Why did I just find money in the dropoff box for us?   
  


**Archangel** @angelhk

i had nothing to do with this???? i dont want money

**Archangel** @angelhk

i mean i do but like… money i earned

**your** @mom

but don’t you technically earn this money? like, you helped the kitchen. you work like five hours a night every night, weekends and holidays included

**Archangel** @angelhk

volunteer work

**Daredevil** @devilhk

We do this because the city needs it, not because we want to get paid for it. Getting paid for it would make it feel tacky and fake.

**Archangel** @angelhk

yeah that

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

“this city” you live in a NEIGHBORHOOD

**Archangel** @angelhk

this debate has been had. he is adamant that the kitchen counts as a city 

**Daredevil** @devilhk

It has enough crime it feels like a city in and of itself. Nobody should live here.

**my names blurrycats** @stickofgun

you live there

**Daredevil** @devilhk

you cant prove that

**sam** @sammysplannys

dude nobody would defend hell’s kitchen as fiercely as you do if they didn’t at least live there

**Archangel** @angelhk

either way it is a neighborhood and this ruling is final

**Daredevil** @devilhk

fisk called it a city

**Archangel** @angelhk

ah yes because wilson “kingpin” fisk is a paragon of truth

**Daredevil** @devilhk

...point taken.

**Archangel** @angelhk

why did our friendly stitcher-upper just call me to yell about how you are getting bloody fingerprints all over your nice cell phone? more importantly why did you take your cell phone out on night job

**Daredevil** @devilhk

I have no excuses. I will shut up now.

-

**olivia** @sciencegal730

every single conversation these two fuckers have with each other makes me love them a little more

**sai** @brushybrushpen

they’re literally the cutest and most relatable people i have ever followed

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

it’s like they dont know how much of an influence they have on people

**bdg gives me life** @myownmother

plot twist- they know exactly how much of an influence they have on people and they’re trying to lessen it by making themselves look harmless on social media so cops stop shooting at them

**Archangel** @angelhk

actually ever since we began these accounts villains/criminals have been taking us waaay less seriously it’s having a serious impact on daredevil’s ability to stop crime

\- 

**Daredevil** @devilhk

I am going to use social media far less regularly from now on. If you need something or have a tip for me, please place it in the drop-off box, or talk to the angel.

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

to clear something up: i am not an actual angel. i am mere mortal. probably human. mostly human? i think? i don’t know i havent had my dna tested

**sam** @sammysplannys

okay but what about daredevil

**Archangel** @angelhk

…………………….good question! uhhhh lemme ask him

**Archangel** @angelhk

he scoffed at me and informed me that i needed to talk to his priest.

**Archangel** @angelhk

which clears approximately nothing up

**miley cyrus** @hannahmountana

are you two in the same room?

**Archangel** @angelhk

well no but we are in the same approximate area

-

**olivia** @sciencegal730

i need to ask a very important question @angelhk

**olivia** @sciencegal730

trans rights?

**Archangel** @angelhk

trans rights!

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Trains rights.

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Trails

**Daredevil** @devilhk

Trans

**macklemore** @mackattack

iconic shdjgkhsjgsd

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

it be like that sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trains rights


	3. Twitter Asks Archangel Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.

**Archangel** @angelhk

so i’ve decided that because unlike the daredevil i dont have a reputation to keep, i am going to do an ama! post with the tag #askarchangel and i’ll answer your questions as fast as i can

**Archangel** @angelhk

jesus i did not expect this many responses so fast

**Archangel** @angelhk

ok i promise i’ll get to all the (non-duplicate) ones as fast as i can

-

**sam** @sammysplannys

what are your pronouns? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

they/them or he/him! i mostly go by he/him though.

-

**your** @mom

what’s your sexuality? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

bi? pan? i don’t know what a “label” is and at this point i’m too afraid to ask

**your** @mom

fucking iconic??? same

-

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

opinions on nutella? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

honestly? i prefer straight-up chocolate spread. hazelnuts and i just were not meant to be, unfortunately. hershey used to do a great chocolate spread but i can’t find it anywhere :(

\- 

**macklemore** @mackattack

how many criminals do you stop a night? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

whoof, that’s complicated. anywhere from 1-50, honestly. some nights i get hurt, or i have to devote a lot of time to one individual. the type of crime also matters - a big gang bust or a bunch of little drug deals?

**Archangel** @angelhk

it also depends on the severity of the crime- do i have to deal with police? do i need the devil to be on board or can i just stop it myself? how much am i doing to help- can i just k.o the criminal real fast, or is there a scared victim?

**dragons** @cooldragonboy

oh hey you’re actually like putting thought into this!! thats super cool

-

**my names blurrycats** @stickofgun

what’s your least favorite type of crime? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

r*pe, and i’ll tell you why: every other type of crime has a way it could, potentially, be selfless. a person stealing drugs could be trying to get money to feed their family. 

**Archangel** @angelhk

a person assaulting a stranger could be blackmailed into doing it, or it could be self-defense. but sexual assualt? no. excuse. i will punch thy teeth in.

-

**venom’s hot** @monsterfxccer1999

when did you and daredevil meet? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

in costume? last year. out of costume? about eight years ago.

**pls adopt me uwu** @nexusm

oh shit did you start vigilantism together?

**Archangel** @angelhk

nope! complete coincidence that led to some v e r y awkward conversations 

-

**olivia** @sciencegal730

can you tutor me? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

depends on the topic! i’m ace at history, law, civics, english, and punjabi but i don’t know anything about stem. dm me!

-

**me** @drdoomsworstnightmare

weirdest situation you’ve ever been in? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

roughly five years ago, duct taped to a chair, balancing a cup of shitty beer on my head, nobody else in the room but double d and his date. it was a weird drinking game, i guess? college was… yikes on bikes

**blue** @blueisnewcool

Y I K E S O N B I K E S

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

i already regret posting this there is so much fanart please help im drowning

-

**bdg gives me life** @myownmother

did you do grad school? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

yep!

-

**sai** @brushybrushpen

do you like the super-name you got? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

i think it’s pretty cool but the abbreviation people have been using (aa) makes me sound like i’m secretly alcoholics anonymous! i think the motif is fun tho

-

**animal crossing for the switch** @switchblade

lowest grade you’ve gotten? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

whoof. maybe the 44 i got from a teacher in 11th grade? she hated me, i wouldn’t stop drawing in her class?? i actually got a 54 on the test (out of 55) but she took ten points off for doodling

-

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

are you good at art? can you post some of your art? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

good’s relative! and no. i’m no artist but i like doodling! just little things like fruit, right?

-

**miley cyrus** @hannahmountana

what’s your day job? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

i’m not gonna tell you!

**miley cyrus** @hannahmountana

can you at least tell us what you majored in

**Archangel** @angelhk

philosophy

-

**chris** @ccambell

is there something you want to tell the new generation of kids? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

jesus, i basically am the new generation of kids. i’m too young to be asked this question. let’s see. don’t be a vigilante, kiddos, shit kills all your joints. 

**Archangel** @angelhk

my left elbow can sense rain and i can crack my shoulders just my moving my arms back and forth real fast.

-

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

do you practice a religion? your angel motif is obviously pretty religious and the devil mentioned his priest #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

my parents were old-school new york jews, but i don’t really practice. 

-

**pwincess** @princessxpeach

favorite food? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

whoo boy this is definitely gonna give me away to my parents but comfort-food wise? turkey sandwich, extra mustard, no lettuce. otherwise, i’m a really big pho fan

-

**ace** @aceofspades

worst injury? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

got impaled through the shoulder by what the devil calls “kyoketsu-shoge,” but i personally just call it a really big hooked knife thingy on a chain. 

**Archangel** @angelhk

or that time someone tried to steal my kidney with a pocketknife

-

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

opinions on your partner’s suit #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

horns = good for marshmallow roasting. also good handholds (for hugs, you heathens)

-

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

does dd give good hugs? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

in costume? no. the kevlar is really, really stiff. out of costume it’s a 50/50; if he’s all tense and sweaty then it’s like holding onto a wall of solid brick and sweat. if he hugs back it is generally ok.

-

**buttercup** @wesleyand

average salary at your day job? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

does homemade food count as actual dollars? because if not i am like…. completely broke. 8 dollars in my savings account broke. every cent towards rent and bills, baybee

-

**cas** @monsterman

why’d you get into vigilantism? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

hoo boy! dd and i - out of costume - had a convo before either of us were vigilantes. he mentioned he thought i’d do the vigilante thing if i had superpowers, and, well

**Archangel** @angelhk

i did have superpowers, obviously, so i thought about it and i figured i’d give it a shot. it went bad, my arm still has a scar, so i waited a few months and got good at martial arts (or at least meh at martial arts) and tried again! 

**Archangel** @angelhk

so now im a vigilante

-

**swords** @sirhuntington

favorite movie? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

i pretend it’s legally blonde but between you and me and the rest of twitter? i really love lilo and stitch

**impromptu dissection** @rosieart

okay i know you posted this a half hour ago but i HAD to i HAD to 

<Image: a two-part drawing; the first, of Daredevil on his knees, drawn in the style of classic Disney, by a bed, praying, saying “Maybe send me an angel! The nicest angel you have.” The second, a drawing of Archangel, hands raised, standing atop a building with green smoke around him, with [MANIACAL LAUGHTER] written at the bottom.>

**Archangel** @angelhk

i am going to print this out and frame it and hang it by my bed. no joke

-

**solstice** @sleepyman

i know #askarchangel is for, well, archangel but: @pagesandpages, as a certified friend of the vigilantes, what is the weirdest thing you’ve seen one of them doing? 

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

oh my GOD so today i caught dd sitting, knees to chest, hunched up on a folding chair like a bat, eating an orange

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

not really eating it, though. he was just… tearing it apart. no peeling. just ripping it apart and shoving his face in the orangey remains

**this is my alt** @pagesandpages

and i asked him what he was doing, of course, and this fucker, casual and business-like as anything, says, “eating an orange, miss pagesandpages, how can i help you?”

**Archangel** @angelhk

that… was my fault. i forgot im not allowed to give him fruit with peels

**cooper** @editorcoops

wait, like any fruit?

**Archangel** @angelhk

or vegetable. he eats edamame whole. like, not swallowing like a snake, but bites into them pod and all and just eats it

**Archangel** @angelhk

he never really got any formal training on how to eat much food that wasn’t basic bread-oatmeal-and-chicken as a kid, so he can usually eat with a fork and knife like a civilized human, elbows off the table, napkin on lap

**Archangel** @angelhk

but some days that just goes out the window and he bites into a banana whole

**cooper** @editorcoops

holy shit

-

**i’m not iron fist** @hawkeye ☑

what’s your tragic backstory #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

holy FUCK it’s hawkeye! dude you’re so cool! but i dont have a tragic backstory B(

**Archangel** @angelhk

as far as i know i was born with superpowers! the most tragic thing that’s ever happened to me is like,,, standard chubby-kid highschool bullying? 

**i’m not iron fist** @hawkeye ☑

i’d say mood but i never went to highschool so not mood but yeah valid

**Archangel** @angelhk

holy fuck hawkeye called me valid

**maybe** @heartofice

normalize! having! normal! home! lives!

**Archangel** @angelhk

yeah i’m kind of the black sheep vigilante over here, tragic backstories are basically requisite for most people to have actual motive to go out and do this shit

-

**my history read** @angelakiss

what do you look like under the mask? #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

uhh, i mean, you already know i have long hair ‘cause it pokes out under the mask. uh, i’m blond. nondescript irish guy? i don’t know, i have a lot of scars at this point but apart from that i’m literally your average person

-

**undefined gremlin** @socalledsomething

did you ever hear the tragedy of darth plagueis the wise #askarchangel

**Archangel** @angelhk

I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life. He had such a knowledge of t

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

I have been informed I am no longer allowed to do #askarchangel thank you all for coming good night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love foggy he's such a troll and so fun to write. also he's like hh I wanna say 26 in this fic so he's like, baby
> 
> (I say, not even being 16 yet) (yet!!!) (my birthday's close okay I'm not THAT young) (shush)
> 
> I'm running out of usernames and uh??? what do you call the bit before the @ sign like "so and so @such and such" I'm running out of those I have like 30 in a google doc and I just like roll dice to figure out which I'm gonna use so if you have more suggestions for those leave those in the comments!!!!! comments and kudos are my caffeine


	4. Twitter Explores Gaming With Archangel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow writing chatfic is. way harder than I expected?? I'm like two weeks behind on chem homework WHOOPS but at least I got this finished!

**Archangel** @angelhk

PSA: The dropoff box is CLOSED, because we can’t have good things apparently

**thats it** @thatsthelore

what happened?

**Archangel** @angelhk

somebody thought it would be a good idea to corner us there and interrogate us about our powers

**Thor** @thorofasgard ☑

I apologize, Arch Angelson. It was not my intention to dissuade you or your partner from using the cardboard contraption.

**Archangel** @angelhk

it’s okay. we like our privacy down in the kitchen, though. please leave us alone

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

WHAT THE SHIT

**jon good** @lovesyou

are you okay?

**Archangel** @angelhk

HooO MY goD

**triple a gay** @katachresis

...archangel????????? are you????? okay??? is everything????? okay??????

**this is my alt account** @pagesandpages

Daredevil sneezes like a kitten.

**ted** @chockymilk

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**your** @mom

really????   
  


**Archangel** @angelhk

It’S SO CUTE???????????????????????

**Archangel** @angelhk

also this was totally supposed to be on my personal account whoopsy doopsy

**infinite** @wellofice

iconic

**swords** @sirhuntington

you do realize daredevil is never gonna be able to be taken seriously, like, ever anymore

**Archangel** @angelhk

his fault for having a smol kitten sneeze.

-

**cooper** @editorcoops

@angelhk you mentioned you were a chubby kid, how do you deal with that? like, teasing and stuff

**Archangel** @angelhk

uh, a lot of theater, to be honest? i didn’t deal with it very well i didn’t have many friends. as a college kid my roommate tended to have my back pretty damn hard on it

**Archangel** @angelhk

if anyone gave me shit he’d just Glower and the problem would magically go away but i feel like i shouldn’t be encouraging you to intimidate your bullies right back they’d probably not like that

**Archangel** @angelhk

dm me! i’ll be aggressively body-positive at you

-

**magician** @comebackkat

@angelhk wait, you said you did theater

**Archangel** @angelhk

<IMAGE: Hagrid, from the first Harry Potter movie, raising his eyebrows over his massive beard, captioned, “I shouldn’t have said that.”>

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

There are pictures floating around of him in his highschool production of Cats.

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

They’re glorious.

**Archangel** @angelhk

wow just gonna call me out like that in front of god and everyone

**Archangel** @angelhk

also you are NOT our pr manager

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

Would you like to try again?

**Archangel** @angelhk

yes, ms. pagesandpages, you can be our official pr manager if you do not leak the pictures of me in cats..? 

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

:)

**olivia** @sciencegal730

BRUTAL

**venoms hot** @monsterfxccer1999

jesus christ

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

one thing i did not realize about being a vigilante is that there would be a lot of people asking for dumb favors

**Archangel** @angelhk

not stuff like “can you fix my door” because like, i can hook u up with someone who can! 

**Archangel** @angelhk

tonight i got a person running around by the dropoff box, looking pretty scared and waving his arms, so i was like “k cool a Mission” and the mission was that his neighbor’s dog wouldn’t stop barking. 

**Archangel** @angelhk

went back to the apartment to see if there was a cause like animal abuse or a hurt owner. nope. dog wasn’t barking. person said when he watches tv the dog barks. checked tv volume. volume 100.

**Archangel** @angelhk

i cannot fix dumbass

**thats it** @thatsthelore

“i cannot fix dumbass” someone make a MOODBOARD

**connor** @hewasask8rboi

<IMAGE: A moodboard of an angel; nine squares. Various motifs including angel wings and birds, along with blurry pictures of Archangel. The center square reads, in blue neon lights against a dark blue background, “i cannot fix dumbass,” in an elegant loopy cursive.>

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

wanted to clarify that if you think you have an actual problem please do come ask for help it is just the waving-hands-looking-scared thing that irritated me and also the volume on his tv. i am not going to be liable for his hearing loss

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

whoever left a pan of lasagna (?) on their rooftop, please don’t. i just stepped in it because it was very dark. my foot is now very tomato-y.

**bdg gives me life** @myownmother

f

**solstice** @sleepyman

lost in the sauce…

-

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

anyone else think it’s weird that archangel and daredevil, two very clearly rich people, are defending the poor of hell’s kitchen

**cooper** @editorcoops

why do you think they’re rich?

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

can afford their expensive-looking armor, pay for hospital visits, etc

**Archangel** @angelhk

the armor was done for us by someone as a favor. we don’t uh, really do hospitals anymore. they get super suspicious because we’re in all sorts of healing states

**Archangel** @angelhk

plus other general squicky stuff for daredevil

**Archangel** @angelhk

we’re definitely on the border between lower and middle class. we have both on occasion missed rent payments and we both live in shitty apartments

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

oh ok eat the rich

**Archangel** @angelhk

eat the rich

-

**dragons** @cooldragonboy

peecan or pehkahn @angelhk

**Archangel** @angelhk

this is the only valid question. peecan

**bug** @violentlypan

WRONG

**my names blurrycats** @stickofgun

archangel is the only valid bitch in this place

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

only bottoms say peecan

**Archangel** @angelhk

what the fuck

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

you guys ever get in one of those moods where you just Really Want To Swing A Sword

**pwincess** @princessxpeach

it’s a little alarming how relatable i find this

**miley cyrus** @hannahmountana

does anyone else feel like maybe archangel has completely forgotten that he’s like, a celebrity

**Archangel** @angelhk

a CELEBRITY hgkjshgkjhdsg

**Archangel** @angelhk

only if you count the daily bugle as a tabloid

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens

oh it is ABSOLUTELY a tabloid

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

just a reminder that if activision, ubisoft, nintendo, or any other game company wants to make a video game of me they are  _ absolutely  _ welcome to that

**thats it** @thatsthelore

there’s a roblox game of you

**Archangel** @angelhk

good enough!

-

**please adopt me uwu** @nexusm

why do i feel like archangel totally roped daredevil into playing magic the gathering and/or dungeons and dragons? like that seems like their dynamic

**Archangel** @angelhk

i have given so many dungeons and dragons style descriptions of things i am incapable of playing the game

**Archangel** @angelhk

also i never got the hang of mtg mostly because i didnt have any friends in middle school to play with other than my siblings :,D

**macklemore** @mackattack

i am making the executive decision to teach archangel how to play magic the gathering 

**Archangel** @angelhk

i have no time to play magic :(

**sai** @brushybrushpen

a tragedy…

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

frogs… so good

**infinite** @wellofice

ok but where did you find frogs you’re in literally the worst neighborhood in new york

**khun** @siu

in w i n t e r, too

**Archangel** @angelhk

someone’s been snapchatting me infinite frogs

**cas** @monsterman

send frog pictures

**Archangel** @angelhk

<IMAGE: A small spring peeper staring at the camera, surrounded by a burst of emoji hearts.>

**doggy** @shleapord

you… make me so happy

**connor** @hewasask8rboi

archangel new favorite superhero

**cooper** @editorcoops

big hozier energy, but somehow more wholesome? like this… this is a man who would play animal crossing new horizons and stream it on twitch and have a weirdly aesthetic island

**Archangel** @angelhk

god i wish

-

**dragons** @cooldragonboy

i made an animal crossing new horizons character that looks like archangel! 

<VIDEO: An Animal Crossing character wearing a Purple Wrestling Mask, a custom outfit with a small wing motif on the back and Archangel’s blue utility belt, Light Blue Sweatpants, Blue Moccasin Boots, carrying a vaulting pole. He turns around once, makes the Delighted Reaction at the camera, then the video ends.>

**Archangel** @angelhk

oh my god i love it!!!!!!!

**dragons** @cooldragonboy

thank you!!! i know you said you didnt have the game but for anyone who wants it here’s the qr for the outfit

<IMAGE: A QR code with the picture of Archangel’s outfit next to it, which has been created using the long-sleeved tee option. 

**my names blurrycats** @stickofgun

god im gonna have to make a daredevil one now that i’ve looked at your archangel one

**doggy** @shleapord

not if i do it first

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

you know, i said one (1) time that i didn’t play animal crossing and suddenly i have a hundred and three DMs telling me to play animal crossing.

**Archangel** @angelhk

why don’t you guys ever take *my* game suggestions? what if i told all of you to go play, i dunno, dungeons and dragons? would you do it?

**olivia** @sciencegal

this post seized me by both shoulders and forced me to make you a character sheet. i know nothing about your partner in crime so i cannot make one of him but i trust you to make it yourself. here is yours  [ https://www.dungeonmastersvault.com/pages/dnd/5e/characters/17592215215961 ](https://www.dungeonmastersvault.com/pages/dnd/5e/characters/17592215215961)

**Archangel** @angelhk

i am a little insulted that i am not a bard but more importantly, i am going to play this at every single d&d game i go to from now on

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

you sing worse than daredevil and i have it on good authority he has collapsed his lung at least twice. you play zero instruments. you cannot be a bard.

**Archangel** @angelhk

whats that? i couldnt hear you over my absolutely beautiful rendition of zero to hero from disney’s hercules the *single best* movie disney has ever produced. i can play wonderwall on my ukulele which is gathering dust in my parents' house.

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

[ https://www.dungeonmastersvault.com/pages/dnd/5e/characters/17592215216233 ](https://www.dungeonmastersvault.com/pages/dnd/5e/characters/17592215216233) i made daredevil a character sheet because it’s unfair that i got one but he didn’t

**Archangel** @angelhk

this resulted in an argument between me, a person who has been playing dungeons and dragons for eight(?) years, and daredevil, a person who has played exactly once (which he did at my bequest), debating his background

**Archangel** @angelhk

he maintains he should have been a criminal. i informed him that not only does he have exactly zero criminal record but ALSO he was literally a child soldier so his only options are mercenary veteran, soldier, or spy. 

**Archangel** @angelhk

he thinks i have put him down as a criminal. i put him down as a mercenary veteran. SUCK IT.

**pwincess** @princessxpeach

wait, hold up, he was a WHAT

**Archangel** @angelhk

oops i suck at this whole secret identity thing! yeah dd was a child soldier. i was not. he has far more experience than i do as a result, plus a staunch refusal to murder people and a general hatred for vanilla ice cream

**Archangel** @angelhk

also a litany of WILDLY distressing stories from the year and a half of whatever shit

**flat moon** @moontruther

yikes????

**Archangel** @angelhk

oh yeah, it’s fuckin wild. he’s always telling me this weird fucked up shit and i’m like “that is??? not a normal thing to experience during childhood” and hes like “what? you mean your teachers didn’t make you do x y and z?”

**macklemore** @mackattack

thats genuinely so fucked up what the shit

**Archangel** @angelhk

ikr? if whatever the fuck ass war he was supposed to be fighting in ever comes to hell’s kitchen i am going to literally drop kick them so far from this place they are going to regret ever existing in the general vicinity of manhattan

**bug** @violentlypan

which will not happen because this fic is set in an alternate universe and FUCK season two and three

**Archangel** @angelhk

what

**bug** @violentlypan

what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've mentioned this in the comments, but I should note that I don't plan to make this an identity reveal fic. I like whumping my characters as much as the next guy (as evidenced by the fact that Foggy passes out, like, three times in the first installment of this series) but I draw the line at getting Matt and Foggy disbarred and hunted for sport.
> 
> Also, this fic is set in 2017 because uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,,,,,,,,, I went through and figured out all the characters' timelines and if they were just starting their business in 2015 then they would've been born in like 1989 and like?? I don't want to make them too Old or Unhip With The Kids??? because I'm fifteen and only did, like, eleven(?) years of martial arts and also a few years of parkour in there? anyway my point is I've been doing this much shorter than daredevil has and YET every single bone in my body pops when I stand up and I can crack my wrists at will and maybe this vigilante thing would not be super great for their joints as they age??? so I don't want them to be too old or experienced with this yet,,, they can still be awkward 28-year-olds for a bit pls??? so this is set in 2017


	5. Twitter Says Fuck The Government

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuck 'em!

**Archangel** @angelhk

callout post @devilhk for wearing jeans to sleep

**impromptu dissection** @rosieart

OH my GOD what??? how

**dragons** @cooldragonboy

thats. the weirdest thing i’ve ever heard daredevil do

**sai** @brushybrushpen

i’m counting that as weirder than biting into an entire orange

**buttercup** @wesleyand

is he even human???

**Archangel** @angelhk

well i THOUGHT he was but now i’m not so sure!!!!!

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

I wear jeans to sleep from time to time.

**Archangel** @angelhk

i’m so sorry to say this but you’ve been terminated from your post as our pr manager

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

i still have the pictures of that production of cats. 

**Archangel** @angelhk

yes ma’am sorry ma’am

**animal crossing for the switch** @switchblade

i’m genuinely concerned now about that blackmail

-

**undefined gremlin** @socalledsomething

wait, so how did halos know that horns wore jeans to bed

**my names blurrycats** @stickofgun

how did who now know that what wore jeans???

**undefined gremlin** @socalledsomething

aa and dd

**magician** @comebackkat

that’s a good question actually. how did dd know that aa wore jeans to bed??? did they have a sleepover???

**khun** @siu

was it a no homo sleepover???

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

was it a YES HOMO SLEEPOVER?????

**infinite** @wellofice

y’all intrusive

-

**mac** @macncheesy

seriously all this speculation over whether dd and aa are together sounds like a bunch of historians debating whether achilles and patroclus were together

**olivia** @sciencegal730

tbh we probably shouldn’t be “speculating,” none of our business

**goldie** @neondragon54

yeah but i’m Curious

**my history read** @angelakiss

no but like- archangel knows what dd wears to bed, his whole backstory, knows that dd has missed rent payments, that he has a “kitten sneeze,” all his food based idiosyncracies, can categorize dd’s hugs based off of how good (1/?)

**my history read** @angelakiss

(2/2) they are in different situations, including in and out of costume. his debates with dd sound like an old married couple, one half of the times daredevil’s been to the hospital is because he wanted to keep archangel company

**goldie** @neondragon54

ok yeah but consider also: “angel?” “yes, dear?”

**lost in the sauce** @peniscolada

also they call each other angel and hornhead :heart_eyes:

**my names blurrycats** @stickofgun

not to mention that aa is totally fine with everyone writing fanfic and nobody on ao3 bothers to bluelock their archdevil fic even though it’s rpf, which. definitely means SOMETHING i just haven’t figured out what

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

i’m tweeting at night! consider this a Night Tweet

**sam** @sammysplannys

what the fuck does that even mean

**your** @mom

don’t tweet at night! i know you’re looking at that cave and you’re feeling kinda bra-

**Archangel** @angelhk

they fucking killed him,,,

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

does anyone else go through those phases where they just really, really love toast?? with like cheese or butter or jam but just… toast

**connor** @hewasask8rboi

i’m literally convinced archangel can read my mind

**bdg gives me life** @myownmother

do you think he knows he’s like, semi-famous???

**connor** @hewasask8rboi

at this point i am convinced he has forgotten

-

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

The Angel of Hell’s Kitchen, known vigilante and all-around semi-dangerous enhanced human being, is using a goddamned _cheese stick_ to type on his phone.

**Archangel** @angelhk

cheesy boi.,,/

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

You are a mess. Do not eat that cheese stick, your phone is probably a breeding ground for every bacteria in Manhattan.

**Archangel** @angelhk

too late

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

You disgust me.

**Archangel** @angelhk

you’re perfectly welcome to leave

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

shush you’re the only boss who will give me donuts every friday

-

**venoms hot** @monsterfxccer1999

can we talk about how easily nyc twitter just Accepted the fact that archangel is on twitter and also a wanted vigilante

**Archangel** @angelhk

better not

**venoms hot** @monsterfxccer1999

look all im saying is that we have learned twitter users are not narcs

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

i’ve developed a new method of dealing with bad alley boys who don’t want to talk it out!

**alana** @poopeepeepoo

oh god

**Archangel** @angelhk

i call it psychowogical wawfawe

**sai** @brushybrushpen

NO THATS SO CURSED  
  


 **Archangel** @angelhk

look man nothing gets criminals to talk better than a little “uh-oh! someone’s being a Bad Boy OvO!!! did you get an ouchy-wouchy? pwease teww me whewe youw secwet base is UwU”

**solstice** @sleepyman

mr archangel sir you are going to get shot

**Archangel** @angelhk

i am so full of bullet holes that some days i wonder if, if all my scars disappear, i could be used as a human colander.

**thats it** @thatsthelore

oh so we’re Cursed cursed today

-

**cooper** @editorcoops

@angelhk you’ve talked to spider-man before, right? what’s the relationship there?

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

he’s my dad

**Archangel** @angelhk

NOT ACTUALLY HIS DAD. CLARIFYING. I AM NOT HIS BIOLOGICAL FATHER

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

shut up you’ve been declared my dad

**Archangel** @angelhk

i am too YOUNG for this

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

<3

**Archangel** @angelhk

….

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

i will swing to hk and make puppy eyes at you

**Archangel** @angelhk

….<3

**blue** @blueisnewcool

i’m a lil alarmed by how easily susceptible archangel is to peer pressure

**khun** @siu

i don’t think we have anything to be afraid of. he’s susceptible to peer pressure and his peers are superheros

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

Please don’t call me a superhero. I’m not defenseless but I am definitely no hero.

**Archangel** @angelhk

you singlehandedly keep us in the black

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

being good at basic math and budgeting isn’t a superpower

**your** @mom

yes it is

**daredevil please fuck archangel** @leetspeek

yes it is

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

yes it is

**Archangel** @angelhk

yes it is

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

yes it is

**infinite** @wellofice

yes it is

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

all people with secret identities are now hannah montana i’m sorry i don’t make the rules

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

rt

**NO.** @jjonesalias

i resent this

**Archangel** @angelhk

YOU HAVE A TWITTER?

**NO.** @jjonesalias

i said nothing. i’m going to block you now. fuck off

**Archangel** @angelhk

:(

**friendly neighborhood** @realspidermanqueens ☑

:(

**maybe** @heartofice

OH SO THAT’S WHERE SPIDEY GETS IT FROM

**Archangel** @angelhk

oh, shush.

-

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

@angelhk Please tell me if there’s anything I can do to keep you from being dumb. Just for one day. Just one.

**Archangel** @angelhk

youll do anything?

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

I mean, within reason, yeah.

**Archangel** @angelhk

then perish.

**doggy** @shleapord

SAVAGE

**olivia** @sciencegal730

i thought archangel didnt kill people

**infinite** @wellofice

jesus h christ

-

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

i made a [ uquiz ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)to find out if you’re more like archangel, daredevil, or their mysterious pr manager

**venoms hot** @monsterfxccer1999

everyone drop what you got i got daredevil

**its** @thefinalc0untdown

i got god?????

**mars bar** @itscoolbrocoffee

whoopsie doodle that was supposed to say the mysterious pr manager

**Archangel** @angelhk

that’s unfairly accurate. she’s not god but you wouldn’t know that from talking to her

**ace** @aceofspades

what’d you get? @angelhk

**Archangel** @angelhk

i got myself! :)

**dragons** @cooldragonboy

the smiley face is… kinda adorable!!!!

**Archangel** @angelhk

:)

**pwincess** @princessxpeach

:)

-

**khun** @siu

@angelhk opinions on kpop

**Archangel** @angelhk

i like it! i don’t really understand the fandom side of things but the music is good for when i’m working out

**thats it** @thatsthelore

@pagesandpages wbu?

**Archangel** @angelhk

oh god no

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

BLACKPINK

**Archangel** @angelhk

look what you did

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

STAN ROSE

**Archangel** @angelhk

you done went and did it now huh

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

<IMAGE: Rose from the k-pop band Blackpink, looking at the camera and smiling. Her face is surrounded by _many_ emoji hearts.>

**Archangel** @angelhk

see, this is why i don’t follow your side blog

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

Technically this is my side blog.

**Archangel** @angelhk

your OTHER side blog

**official dd and aa pr manager** @pagesandpages

That’s fair. I wouldn’t want to follow that blog either.

-

**Archangel** @angelhk

hey if anyone wants to know how *not* to make a molotov cocktail so that they *don’t* know how to torch someone’s building (say the building of an assholeish billionaire who keeps popping back up by buying his way out of jail) (1/?)

**Archangel** @angelhk

here is how not to do that, for those of you who don’t want to torch leland owlsley’s penthouse. you won’t need gasoline with some styrofoam dissolved in it, in a glass bottle. you won’t want to fill it up 2/3 of the way (2/?)

**Archangel** @angelhk

then you shouldn’t cover it and shift the liquid around to coat the walls of the bottle. if you don’t want to make one, you shouldn’t open it back up and put a cloth rag with two or three inches out of the lid and soak the tail (3/?)

**Archangel** @angelhk

of it in the gasoline. then you shouldn’t light the rag and throw the bottle into that corrupt politician’s office. again. this is not a tutorial on how to do it, it’s a tutorial how not to do it. don’t do this. (4/4)

**Carol** @ccathy1968

Disgusting. Encouraging violence.

**Archangel** @angelhk

didn’t you read it? it’s a tutorial how not to do it

**cas** @monsterman

also, with all due respect (i.e. next to none,) this is a vigilante’s twitter account. he’s literally wanted in the state of new york. i do not know what you expected

**sam** @sammysplannys

this is a very good tip on what not to do! could you share some other things not to do, if you’re more interested in how not to be peacefully resistant?

**Archangel** @angelhk

sure! i can actually say this outright ‘cause there’s nothing illegal here. if your friend gets picked up at a peaceful demonstration, don’t let them walk home alone after they get out of the station. make sure you and a group of friends (1/?)

**Archangel** @angelhk

are there to walk them home and make them food and hang out with them. getting arrested for doing nothing wrong sucks but it happens more often than you’d think! make sure they don’t have to go through that alone. (2/2)

**Archangel** @angelhk

in conclusion Fuck The Government

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you actually make the molotov cocktail please dear god do not mention me in court. i am sixteen i can't go to Jail i havent even gotten a detention at school yet
> 
> so this is the last content-based chapter. next chapter will be housekeeping, but it's important so if you can please read it.
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are my caffeine! i love y'all <3


	6. Housekeeping (PLEASE READ)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <3

So unfortunately, as some of you I assume have noticed, this is the last chapter.

And as, I assume, all of you have noticed by now, this is not in fact a content-based chapter.

_ However, _ this chapter does contain information about 1) the future of this fic, 2) the reasons why that is the future of this fic, and 3) the future of my existence on Ao3. So I’d advise you to read this. If you don’t particularly care about me, and would like to continue reading fanfic, please, without me talking at you: consider this the end of the fic.

**The future of this fic** :

The thing about writing chatfic is that unless you give it a story arc it is very, very difficult to find an end to it. It can keep going and going and going and it is very, very easy to burn out. I didn’t have an end goal in mind when I wrote this fic. I just wanted to play around in the Archangel AU for a bit longer, and it has met that goal.  _ It is unlikely that I will write any more for this fic _ . I might post a drabble or one-shot in this universe, but consider that a hard maybe.

**The reasons why that is the future of this fic:**

I am an almost-sixteen-year-old author. I am  _ busy as all hell. _ I am constantly on call for my friends when one of them has fucked up shit in their head and they need someone to help them out of it. I am three months behind on chemistry work and I need to catch up on that. I am trying to figure out what I want out of life and where I want to go with my interests and if I even want to pursue the career choices I’m thinking of pursuing. I have a million mental illnesses and I am physically disabled and really, really fucking tired  _ all the time. _

And as much as fanfiction has been my escape for the last three years, it has also been a huge time suck and detrimental to my mental health. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been sitting at a desk trying to focus on trigonometry or whatever, and suddenly remember I haven’t updated my fic in  _ how long? _ I  _ can’t _ keep doing that. Not with a fic that is as draining as this fic is; chatfic is  _ incredibly _ difficult to write and I didn’t realize how difficult it was until I tried it myself. (Everyone reading this, go leave a comment on a favorite chatfic and commend them for their good work. Shit’s difficult.) Plus, I’m falling out of the fandom pretty rapidly. So I need to cut myself off. It’s causing more harm than good.

**The future of my existence on Ao3:**

It is unlikely that I will post any more fic for a good long while on this account, at least. It was a fun escape at first, but now that  _ family members _ and half my  _ school  _ and all my  _ friends _ know about this account, I’ve been worried a lot more about the things I give kudos to and the things I give comments to. That’s just anxiety, bay-bee. So I’m going to take a hiatus. Maybe I’ll post again on this account. Maybe I won’t. 

I’ll probably go open up a new account and use that instead for my recreational browsing. If you know me in real life, please don’t search for that account. Them’s boundaries. I’ll probably look into writing original fiction a lot more; I’ve done it for NaNoWriMo three years running now and I think it’s time for me to look into doing it for more than one month at a time. Maybe I’ll post that stuff here, maybe I won’t. Y’all know the drill with Ao3; original fiction doesn’t tend to get noticed. ‘S the archive for “derivative works,” after all.

**Tl;dr:**

Until future notice, consider this work, this universe, and this account “on hold.” I sincerely hope you all stay safe, and that you’re all doing well. 

My inbox is always open if you need beta work done for anything- and if you, like me, are very bad at figuring out how Ao3 inboxes work, my Discord is R3dstoneR3quired#2913. Don’t doxx me, please-and-thank-you. 

I’ll see you all on the flip side.

**Author's Note:**

> All righty, guys, here we go! I needed something to write and fuck it, this is what I wrote. Let's go. There's gonna be more of this, so I hope y'all are buckled in and ready for the ride!
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are my caffeine, and trust me, I need it right now. Dying inside, y'all.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Tangential Explanation As To Why Vigilantes and Twitter Is A Fantastic Combination, Actually](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23785348) by [Ocearna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ocearna/pseuds/Ocearna)




End file.
